Gabriela Mejia

Time is a teacher, and growing up on the internet I’ve seen a lot of people become rapidly visible. I’ve learned a few lessons about being perceived online, thanks to teachers like that Lorax tiktoker, and all who came before.

I’ve flirted with the ambition of being internet visible myself – in college I began making ASMR videos, then later as I’ve worked for social causes I’ve stepped in to be interviewed a couple of times.

Talking to the internet has been a great creative outlet for most of my life. From writing fanfiction on different websites, to filming and editing out the NYC noises in my asmr, being a creative online has been fun and also challenging.

A couple of years ago, I made all my videos private. It felt like shutting the door on a space I’d made for myself online and on the real people who helped me create that space. I also took a big step back from speaking to cameras, or even posting pictures of myself. I’ve spent the past few years feeling nervous and some nights even terrified of the vulnerability I explored in my early 20s.

I’m not longer in my 20s, and thanks to therapy, I think “waking up” my internet presence can be a source of growth again. I hope to once again find and build community with strangers who can gain some rest, a laugh, or a lesson from what I publish.

What am I learning so far? Well to be real, I’ve only just made public three (out of dozens) of asmr videos, and posted a reading vlog:

I think I’ll check back in on what I learn from this round of creative output. But what I can admit now, after so many years of fear, is that being seen and known feels good.